Here I Am.

College has begun and my new lifestyle is in full swing. My clothes and things are settled in, yet my heart and soul are not. My eyes and mind are wandering, searching for the next place to settle in. I began attending a new church on Sunday, and my heart began to find a new church to call home. The Lord quickly captured my attention with a message that my heart and soul so desperately needed to hear and that message was this: 

Life following Jesus is a crooked road. Yes, we are called to live on the straight and narrow path, absolutely true. But do we honestly think that life following Jesus will be easy? If you are a Christian, your answer should be no. We have to come to the realization that our lives are going to be messy; you could even go as far as saying they will be miserable sometimes. Sure, the Lord will bless us in bountiful ways. But along with blessings and triumph comes suffering and confusion. We often wonder why: 

As a young Christian woman, I am searching for my future. I feel that God's purpose is so clear, yet I am still wandering through the fogginess of life. I see bits and pieces of my future, but never the whole thing. I know it is near, so why is it so hard for me to grasp it? These past few weeks I have been searching my heart and letting my guard down.

I am searching through the canyon.

It is your name that I am calling.

Though you're so far away 

I know you hear my plea 

Why won't you answer me? 

Here I am.
Here I am.
- Emmylou Harris, "Here I am."