This thing I have is Unspeakable Joy.
Do you know this kind of joy?
Let me tell you my story that God has been writing for a while, and now He wants me to share my pain and triumph with you.
Life is not easy, and as I went through middle school and high school I was always very talkative, loud and full of laughter. I found the simplest of things to be absolutely hysterical. Most of the time I laughed alone or with my best friend Katie. We conquered middle & high school together, through laughter and friendship. I am forever grateful to have a best friend who laughed at and with me everyday. The Lord knew what he was doing when he gave me a best friend in the whole wide world that would be crazy, silly and fun with me!
Although high school was full of laughing for me and Katie, not many other people would laugh or have joy the way we did. Each day I felt the negativity and wickedness of the world in my school, (which was well under 180 kids 9-12). A lot of the time when I found myself laughing or being happy, there was a negative comment or face telling me that it wasn't okay to be joyful. People would make comments about the way I laughed, often telling me to be quieter or to change the way I laughed all together. Some even called my laugh " inconsistent and fake." Katie and I were often told we were way too happy and very annoying.
Though on the outside I didn't care what they said, Satan began to use those words and expressions to stir up some turmoil in my heart. I started asking myself "Am I really too happy?" or "should I cut my joy short or laugh less because people were annoyed with me?" These were the lies the devil began to overtake my thoughts with. For a while the answer to me seemed to be yes. I ultimately thought that maybe I should stop being joyful and submit to the negativity of high school. Although these thoughts were far from what God desired for me and my life, I chose to believe these lies. But not for long.
Read next time to how God changed my heart and gave me Unspeakable Joy.